Worrying

I started this blog because blogger ate my preivous blog, hopefully "Disabled by Birth Abnormal by chioce". Hopefully this one this one won't meet the same fate. Let's leap into today's topic worrying. I had friend in college who worried alot, I felt to much. She worried money, school work, not fitting, not appearing "normal' enough. I must admit I judged her for that. At the time it was smooth sailing for me, school was going well, I had a clear vison of my furture.

How times have changed. Im the worrier now, I'm unemployed with no propects. I'm short on money, forced to live on SSDI. I have had numerous health problems over the last few years. I have the heir brained scemed to get life back on track nobody thinks will work. Thought it all I've remained happy but I worry alot. My friend on the other hand has a good husband and baby boy that is fresh out of oven. She lives in Canada that mean she get better healthcare then she would in the US. The pay for her to take a year off to care for her son. (Why don't US moms get that?) She still worries but not as bad. My point is her worrying was caused by her cirstances, just like mine is now. During life we go through cycles you good time and not so good times. Right now I'm in not so good time right now. Don't get me wrong there are definitly some good things in my life right now. Volunteering at Easter Seals is definitly a good thing, it beings me so much joy. I guess the best way describe my life right now is I have happiness, but not satisfaction. I'm happy but I want more. I know the things I do make a different, but I want to make more of a different. I know I will get that satisfaction just have to keep pluging and wait for things to cycle my way.

On anthor topic I've been dishearten by what I've seen posted be other disabled people on the net. Either they willing to do whatever non-disabled want or they totally radical to the point that liken all non-disabled people to Hitler. Neither is correct, I think why the disabled right movement hasn't gained traction is there is no sense of community among the disabled. With African Americans they had there own neighoods, schools, business, and colleges. That provided with a power they used to help them gain there rights. We have none that. I would love to see a group of disabled people choosing to live in the same neighood or disabled children attending a school run by disabled adults, or a business run entirly by disabled people. I'm not saying we cut ourselfes off from non-disabled people. We need contact with all kinds of people. We just need realize who our own our. That community atmspete exist somewhat among the Deaf, Blind, the low functioning disabled and it's devloping among Austisics. But it's need to be more to be more widespeard and more high functioning people need to be involved. Sadly what Ive read most disabled rights groups are into assiminlation. They frown upon diapers and such things that help the disabled because they are not "normal" I'm disabled that automaticlly doesn't make me normal doesn't matter if I wear a diaper or not so I will wear one and if I have a accident I will have a smaller mess to clean up. My mistake we are suppose to pretend we don't have accidents. I guess that was my bad. :)